Learning to flirt
by aurghhh
Summary: Hanna tries to learn the secrets of lesbian flirting from Paige and Emily.


**A/N: **This is just a short one-off. The idea came to me, and I went with it. Everything is better with Hanna.

* * *

"Come on, tell me," Hanna demanded. "Why won't lesbians flirt with me?"

"Why do you care?" Emily asked.

"Because duh," Hanna responded with a slight wave of her hands, before turning her attention to Paige. "Gay women must find me hot, right?"

"Um..." Paige began hesitantly.

"I mean, look at me," Hanna added, gesturing to herself.

"I guess..." Paige continued, looking to Emily for guidance, but Emily just rolled her eyes. "I mean..."

"OK," Hanna cut in. "Imagine you're a lesbian..."

Emily and Paige both looked at her, somewhat perplexed.

"You know what I mean," Hanna insisted. "Now, you're in a bar or something, like that one I followed you to that time and you hooked up with Shana... I mean, not _hooked up_ hooked up, just met, you know..."

Emily was glaring at Hanna now, and Paige was trying to sink into her chair and hide, but Hanna was too busy painting the picture to notice.

"So anyway, you're hanging out there and I walk in," Hanna continued. "What do you think when you see me?"

"I don't know," Paige replied defensively.

"Do you check out my boobs?" Hanna asked. "Or my legs? Maybe my butt?"

"Not really," Paige pleaded.

"Why not?" Hanna asked. "I do."

Paige and Emily were staring at her again.

"Yeah, all the time," Hanna explained. "I've checked out Emily's boobs so many times..."

"What?" Emily interrupted.

"Paige is a lucky girl," Hanna responded, leaving Emily to ponder this while she turned back to Paige. "OK, so how do I get your attention?"

Paige paused for a moment.

"Eye contact I guess," she suggested. "Just smile."

Hanna focused her gaze on Paige, but somehow her eyes gave her a 'come hither' look rather than a simple smile.

"Um, that should do it," Paige confirmed.

"Great," Hanna said cheerfully. "Now you pretend..."

"Hanna!" Emily interrupted.

"Paige doesn't mind," Hanna declared confidently.

"Ah, actually..." Paige began.

"Cool," Hanna cut in. "So we're at the bar or something now, what do you say?"

"This isn't really my thing," Paige explained.

"Just flirt with me," Hanna instructed Paige. "Make Emily jealous."

"I don't know what to say," Paige implored, looking slightly alarmed now.

"Just say whatever you'd say if some hot girl came up to you," Hanna suggested.

"Hanna, I really don't think..." Emily tried to intervene, but to no avail.

"Please," begged Hanna.

All of them looked from one person to another, Hanna's eyes pleading like a little puppy dog, until Paige and Emily gave in.

"Um..." Paige began, before getting flustered again. "I really don't know."

"Just say anything," Hanna suggested.

"Ah..." Paige began again, stalling for time. "Nice top."

"That's not flirting, that's just talking!" Hanna protested.

"I'm not a flirt," Paige countered.

"OK, I'll start," Hanna relented. "I'm Hanna, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to..." Paige began, before stopping abruptly. "No, this is just too weird."

"We'd only just started," Hanna pointed out.

"Why are you so worried about lesbians not flirting with you?" Emily asked.

"I like flirting," Hanna responded.

"I know you do," Emily noted. "And I know you like attention..."

Hanna was nodding in agreement now, a big smile on her face.

"...but if you're flirting with a woman just for fun then that can be very frustrating for her," Emily explained. "You can't give her hope like that just to make yourself feel better."

"What if I put out?" Hanna casually asked.

There was silence in the room for a moment as Emily and Paige took this in.

"Would you actually be interested?" Emily inquired.

"Yeah, totally," Hanna confirmed. "I mean, I know I've got Caleb now, but some day I might want to be with a girl. Girls are hot."

"Oh," said Emily. "I didn't realise, but that's..."

"Sorry, didn't I mention it?" Hanna asked. "Yeah, I've been thinking about this for a while. Remember that party at Bridget's and you guys were making out in the corner, so I was, like, watching you for a while..."

Emily's eyes widened, while Paige sat in stony silence, but Hanna continued.

"...and I was thinking 'That looks like fun'," she explained. "Then Caleb noticed and I was like 'Hey, if they're putting on a show then you can't blame me for watching' and he was like 'For twenty minutes?' and I was like 'Oh' but he was really good about it. I asked him if he'd be into us picking up a girl for a threesome but he wasn't."

"OK," Emily said.

"Yeah, I know, weird huh?" Hanna continued. "I thought guys liked that. But he said that if I ever wanted to be with a girl, like, just for me, you know, then so long as I talked to him about it first and it wasn't a friend then that was fine."

Emily and Paige looked at each other for a moment, still processing all of this new information.

"So basically I want to know if I've got a chance," Hanna concluded. "If I ever am interested in a girl, is she going to be interested in me, or do I just, I don't know, look too straight or something and scare them away?"

"Hanna, you'll be fine," Paige said reassuringly. "Girls are going to like you."

"Really?" Hanna asked.

"Yes," Emily agreed. "You're sweet, beautiful, funny and kind."

"And you've got great boobs," Paige added.

Emily was startled, but Paige just shrugged her shoulders. They both knew it was true.

Hanna was beaming now.

"Aw thank you," she said. "You guys are the best."


End file.
